Love and Loss
by iBetYouKnowWho
Summary: And just like that, the fate of the galaxy was changed forever.
1. Prologue

**A/N: [PLEASE READ] I've been wanting to write a decent AU story for quite some time, and out of all my (mostly horrible) ideas I decided that this one was the best. It just hit me one day, and ever since then I knew I had to share it with you all. I've planned out a lot of the plot, but I'm not sure if anyone's up to reading it. If you think I should continue, please leave some feedback.  
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**In this story, Padmé finds out she's pregnant in the last episode of _The Clone Wars_ series (which has yet to air) and announces it to Anakin. This chapter takes place several weeks afterward, during what would normally be the beginning of _Revenge of the Sith_.**

**Anyway, without further adieu...**

* * *

PROLOGUE

_Life._

No words could express its mind-blowing beauty. It was truly the most amazing thing the two of them had ever created; the most wonderful object to have sprouted inside of her. She'd never felt more complete.

_Blue._

It was the color of his eyes; a light shade with a green tint that she couldn't keep out of her mind. She remembered the way those irises had lit up when she'd first told him the news. Oh, how she needed to see his eyes…

_Hands._

Caressing her lower abdomen where they speculated the baby bump would soon grow. She placed her own there now, stroking it back and forth and wishing they were his instead.

_Moonlight._

It would stream in through the fluttering curtains that lined the window and onto his face as they faced each other on their bed, arguing and teasing one another in whispers over the baby's gender.

_Sheets._

The cool fabric had felt nice against her legs as she'd tucked them against his own and he'd held her for what seemed like an eternity. She stared at them now—and the crimson hue that came along with them—and felt her eyes swell with hot tears.

The five words swarmed her mind and memory, and she kept listing them off to herself as she tried to remain calm. Eventually they were all she could think of, and when even they began to fade it was all she could take to remain standing.

Everything seemed far away. The sound of the bath water overflowing the tub in the refresher; the late-night traffic of Coruscant through the open window as hovercrafts hummed in the distance; a gold-plated droid asking if she was all right, shortly before her knees gave way and she crumbled into a shaking heap on the floor.

She'd lost it.

She'd lost her baby, the most precious gift her husband had ever given her. The one thing that had kept them even closer together in these dark, chaotic times; the bond that tied them even more tightly than the marriage certificate laying in the bottom drawer of her office desk.

There would be no more late-night discussions, no hands to wrap around her stomach in love and care, no gleam or shine to his proud azure eyes. There would only be once-clean, crisp, new sheets, now tinged with blood, and one thousand different kinds of loneliness.

Her body rocked with sobs as all these new truths dawned upon her. She bowed her head and curled into the fetal position, clawing the carpet with her trembling fingers. The sounds emitting from her lips were no longer suppressed, and soon the room was filled with her struggled breathing and soft whimpers.

_I've lost it… I've lost it._

Never before had she felt so empty.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I want to apologize for two things: First, that I didn't update for about forever, and second, that this chapter isn't really the greatest. Writing epic battle scenes isn't exactly one of my specialties - but, I tried my best.**

**Also, if you're not familiar with X1 and X2, they are both force-sensitive.  
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**Anyway... this is probably the longest chapter I've written for quite some time.  
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**Enjoy.  
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* * *

_PART ONE_

CHAPTER ONE

The icy, pale blue surface of Tantra outlined it against the endless dark void of hyperspace. On either side of it sat its two fraternal moons, one that constantly remained dark and mysterious, while the other shone brightly. The latter brilliantly illuminated a small fleet of ships that was nearing the planet's gravitational pull.

A pair of smaller starfighters was also zooming towards the planet—a red ship and its yellow companion. Atop each craft were the top halves of two astromech droids. One was red, like the vehicle upon which he was situated, and the other dark blue.

"Tantra? They led us all the way to the Outer Rim to stop at _Tantra?_"

It was the owner of the yellow spacecraft that spoke. His azure eyes stared in disbelief at the ice-covered planet lying ahead of them, and his young head shook itself in clear bewilderment.

"Believe it or not, there _are_ lifeforms present," the middle-aged man in control of the red ship replied, reaching up to slightly adjust his headset as he read the information his droid sent him and displayed on a hologram. "Although I doubt they're going to be too happy with Grievous's little… surprise visit."

"I don't think Grievous will be too overjoyed with _our_ 'surprise visit', either, Master," the first individual countered.

His conversant, the Jedi Master, grinned as his crystal irises sparkled in anticipation. "He won't have much time to _be_ anything once we're done with him." He pressed a separate button on his headset and held it down as he stated his next request. "Commander Cody, do you copy?"

"Yes, General Kenobi," a firm voice sounded.

"Bring your squadron around to our rear and sides," the Jedi ordered, fingering a lever with his free hand whilst determinedly staring down the Separatist fleet in the distance. "We're going in."

Both he and his companion in the yellow ship launched forwards abruptly, and within moments had a group of clone ships speeding steadily behind them.

The distance they gained on the Separatists didn't go by unnoticed. Just seconds after their fast approach, small objects were being hurled their way.

"Anakin!" the Jedi Master spoke up, gritting his teeth as the front window of his starcraft became clogged with the objects. A few of them had made their way over to his astro droid and managed to remove its head. "I'm hit!"

"I see them," the first man said in annoyance. "Buzz droids." He maneuvered his ship so that it was aligned directly behind his Master's, and fired a few shots at the droids—which not only got the job done, but also clipped off a small part of the fighter's left wing.

"Anakin!" the older Jedi reprimanded, adding in a disgruntled sigh.

"My deepest apologies, Master," Anakin offered monotonously, distractedly glancing outside his own front window to see that a buzz droid had landed on his spacecraft and was heading straight towards his astromech companion. "Get him, R2! Hit the center eye!"

The blue-and-white droid let out a series of startled and confused whistles before a mechanical device popped out from his chest and slammed against the buzz droid's second eye. It slid off the yellow ship and floated out into space.

The two Jedi grew closer to the ship that seemed to be the head of the Separatist fleet. Dark Side auras rolled off it in waves, and they had no doubt that this was where the Supreme Commander himself was situated—along with the kidnapped Chancellor.

"Cody?" the Jedi Master asked again into his comlink. After receiving a ready response, he commanded, "Send X1 and 2 with us. Take the rest of your boys to destroy the remaining starfighters."

"Of course, General," the Commander complied, signaling for the majority of his fleet to break their formation. Two smaller ships, no doubt piloted by X1 and X2, followed closely behind the two Jedi as the four of them approached the _Invisible Hand_.

"The shields are closing!" Anakin noted with panic, as the door that secured the landing port began to slide closed. A few side turrets started firing at the group, but were soon taken out by X1 and 2.

"Go! Go!" Kenobi yelled into his headset over the sound of the explosions. The four crafts zoomed through the small remaining entry space just milliseconds before the large metal door slid all the way to the right, sealing them in.

Thousands of sparks erupted as the four fighters slid across the metal floor. Not bothering to wait for them to come to a complete stop, the force-sensitive individuals popped open the top hatches of their ships and sprang out.

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin called, alerting his Master to the battle droids behind him. The older Jedi ignited his lightsaber and whirled around, slicing several of them in half, while his clone companions fired upon the remainders.

"We don't have much time, Sir," one of them—X1—stated.

"No, we don't," Obi-Wan agreed, distinguishing his lightsaber and signaling for the three to follow him as they dashed towards the elevators on the other side of the landing area. "We need to rescue the Chancellor and leave as soon as possible." The elevator doors opened and the group quickly filed in. Soon the lift was speeding its way up to the top floor, where they could all indubitably sense the source of the Dark Side auras.

The doors opened once more to reveal another group of battle droids, who were taken out without delay. X2 began fighting the super battle droids that were approaching them, while his brother made his way to the magna guards. Anakin and Obi-Wan fought their way through the mess to where a figure was seated in a chair with his back to them. Taking in the slicked-back white hair and strong build, they knew it could only be one person.

"Count Dooku," Obi-Wan said in unfriendly acknowledgement.

The human twirled around in his chair to face the pair, and his elderly face broke into a sinister smile. "Master Kenobi, and your"—his eyes fell upon Anakin, flashing as they mocked and degraded him—"Apprentice."

"Save the pleasantries, Dooku," Anakin spat, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Hand over the Chancellor… and Grievous."

"That wouldn't be very fun, now would it?" the Sith teased, still smiling as he rose out of his seat. Obi-Wan eyed his hands cautiously as they fingered something at his side. "You know me. I'm always up for a little… game."

"One that you'll certainly lose, I can assure you," Anakin replied coldly.

"Enough." Obi-Wan shot a stern look in his Apprentice's direction before turning back to face Dooku. "Where is Palpatine?"

The Count remained silent and kept his right hand at his side. The three stood there as a few awkward beats passed and Anakin slowly grew more impatient. Dooku felt this and the boy's hot emotions caused him to grin.

Anakin drew his lightsaber angrily, and shoved it in front of the man's face. "_Where… is… Palpa_—AH!" He was thrown backwards and across the room from an abrupt force-push made by Dooku, and it was as if the Sith had pressed a chaos-starting button. Obi-Wan ignited his own lightsaber and brought it to clash against Dooku's, just as X1 and X2 finished off the guards and sent a few blasts Dooku's way—which he barely managed to dodge.

Anakin pushed himself off the floor and barreled towards his Master and the Sith, throwing his lightsaber into the mix as several multi-colored sparks erupted. The two Jedi leaned against their sabers, trying to push Dooku back.

"Well, well, well. This looks familiar… Doesn't it?" the latter asked, hinting towards the time Kenobi and Skywalker had confronted him on Geonosis a few years prior.

Anakin, remembering his brashness from that situation, temporarily drew back from the duel to regain his peaceful hold on the Force. He could not allow himself to make those same mistakes again.

The weight Obi-Wan pressed against his lightsaber and onto Dooku's finally did the trick, and the Sith was launched backwards as he fell over his chair. Anakin rejoined the fight and turned to combat Dooku, while the former's Master ran over to a small control panel and map, trying to figure out where the Chancellor and Grievous could be.

"They're on the fourteenth level, General," X1 spoke up, no doubt sensing the auras emitting from the area mentioned.

Kenobi nodded as he, too, felt the familiar signatures of the two individuals seven floors below. "Com your Commander and tell him I said to bring a shuttle. We won't be able to fit the Chancellor into one of our starfighters."

The trooper nodded and obeyed the order, while X2 pressed a few buttons on the control panel that would open up the door of the landing port in preparation for the squadron's arrival.

It had only taken a few seconds for Dooku to regain his bearings, and after he did so he called upon the Dark Side to enhance his strength. Anakin was fighting him valiantly, but nevertheless the Knight was being pushed backwards until his spine was rubbing against the elevator doors.

"Quit fooling yourself, Jedi," Dooku snarled, breathing onto Anakin's face as their sabers clashed and they each pressed their weight against them. "You were never any match for me. Give in!"

Anakin's blue eyes hardened and he felt the Force flow into him, renewing his failing strength. He clenched his teeth as he withdrew his lightsaber from Dooku's and pushed the man back—straight into the lightsaber of none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Sith's dark eyes widened in shock as he stared down at the weapon driven through his stomach; then gazed back up at Anakin, shortly before Obi-Wan drew back his saber and the old man collapsed into a heap on the floor.

"Good work, my young Apprentice," Obi-Wan told Anakin, smiling. X2 opened the elevator doors and the four boarded the lift once more.

"Good work, my elderly Master," Anakin joked in response, as the doors closed and the group began to descend. Obi-Wan chuckled softly, but soon stopped once the elevator came to a halt in-between levels seventeen and sixteen.

X1 flipped open a control box and watched the holo screen, his face displaying an expression of shock beneath his helmet. "Sir…?"

"What's going on?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"All the escape pods have been launched," the clone reported.

His brother stepped up to observe the holo. "The ship's main boosters have also been deactivated."

"Blast!" the Jedi Master cursed. He looked over to see Anakin cutting a hole in the floor of the elevator with his lightsaber. "Anakin?"

"Follow me," the Knight instructed, shortly before sliding through the hole and plummeting fifty meters down the elevator shaft.

Obi-Wan let out a grunt. "I hate it when he does that."

A sudden jolt coursed through the _Invisible Hand_ as it turned on its side and began its rapid descent towards Tantra. The Jedi and the clones quickly crawled through the hole and sprinted down the elevator shaft, which now resembled a strange corridor. Another turn sent the large ship spiraling in the opposite direction, and the trio found themselves losing their footing as the shaft returned to its normal position. X1 and X2 activated their jetpacks and Obi-Wan allowed himself to fall, relying on the Force to give him a graceful landing.

The three arrived at the landing port in a matter of seconds and joined Anakin as he struggled to pull R2D2 out of the droid's seat on his small starfighter. X2 aided in the effort and the two quickly freed the small astro droid.

Another abrupt twist of the _Invisible Hand_ caused the group to lose their balance and fall against the hard floor of the landing port. Glancing up, Obi-Wan noticed that the port doors were getting ready to close, and scrambled to his feet.

The other four individuals also noticed this, and in seconds had created an unspoken plan. Anakin gathered R2 in his arms and, along with Obi-Wan, force-jumped across the port to make it to the doors in time, while the two clone troopers used their jetpacks to perform the same action. Missing the large, metal door by a millimeter as they had done when they first entered, the five of them took a large jump out into space, only to be caught inside the top hatch of a clone transporter. The hatch closed and the ship made the jump into lightspeed, heading back towards the Core; to Coruscant.

Anakin set down R2 and collapsed into a white chair next to Obi-Wan. X1 and X2 took off their helmets to brush back their golden-brown hair, breathing a few synchronized, brotherly sighs of relief.

"It's not finished," Anakin concluded, solemnly turning to face his Master. "We failed."

"We did all that we could," Obi-Wan replied, pushing a few ginger-colored hairs off his perspiring forehead. "Unfortunately, you're right, Anakin—this ordeal is far from over."


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! So much feedback! I love you guys! :D Seriously, all your reviews/follows/favorites encouraged me so much! I'm hoping to update this story more frequently, because I've taken up the challenge of writing 50K words in a month (November). I'm just worried that I'll rush myself and then the chapters won't be the best quality.**

**Sorry if the "love scenes" are a bit awkward... I feel like George Lucas when I write them.**

**And, last but not least... Episode VII in 2015! AHHH! I'm so excited! Hopefully Disney decides to follow the EU books - more preferably, Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy. (What do you guys think of all this new SW hype?)  
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CHAPTER TWO

The journey back to Coruscant took the group just over two standard days. Once Commander Cody had safely landed the clone transporter in the spaceport's docking bay, the Jedi and clone troopers took a hoverbus to the Jedi Temple to greet the other Masters and politicians, and exchange the grim news.

"Master Kenobi," Mace Windu said, coming forth to greet Obi-Wan and Anakin at the Temple's entrance. Detecting the frustrated emotions radiating off of Anakin, and noting that the Chancellor was nowhere in sight, the human frowned. "I sense that your mission with Skywalker was unsuccessful."

"We managed to eliminate Count Dooku," Obi-Wan replied evenly.

"That is… good news." Mace nodded, then turned to look at Anakin as the latter opened his mouth to speak.

"Unfortunately, Grievous managed to flee in an escape pod, along with the Chancellor," the Jedi Knight said. "Once we've discovered their location, we're planning to set out with the 501st and attempt another rescue."

Mace nodded thoughtfully once more. "Grievous will run and hide as he always does. I wish you the best of luck on uncovering the system which he decides to dwell in next, and may the Force be with you both." He bowed slightly, and Obi-Wan and Anakin mimicked his actions before the Master turned and headed back inside the Jedi Temple.

Obi-Wan's gaze fell upon his Apprentice. "There's a meeting concerning the Outer Rim sieges first thing tomorrow morning. Will I have the honor of escorting you to this attendance?" His light blue eyes shined brightly in jest.

"Of course, Master." Anakin smiled and his own irises drifted to an object hidden in the shadows behind one of the huge stone pillars that held up the building. "Excuse me," he said distractedly. Obi-Wan made a sound of acknowledgement and followed the path Master Windu had taken down the long maroon carpet and into the Temple. Once Anakin made sure he was out of sight—and that the crowd that had previously gathered had finally dissipated—he made his way over to the column and the individual leaning against it.

She was just as he'd imagined her to be—in a tight, black velvet dress with her sienna hair pinned into two side buns—but there was a certain signature about her that he could tell was different just from a single glance at her creased brow.

"Anakin," she whispered, reaching up to tightly embrace him.

He leaned downward and wrapped his arms around her waist, returning the favor as he spun her in a small circle and then set her down. "Padmé," he murmured in response, the name bringing a slight smile to his lips.

"It's been forever since I last saw you," she said softly, her eyes reflecting obvious worry. "I was so afraid—"

"Shh." Anakin held her in his arms once more, before realizing that they would attract too much attention, and let her go. "It's all right. I'm fine."

"The Chancellor hasn't returned," Padmé observed, her voice once more on the borderline of fear. "What happened?"

"Grievous escaped again," her husband answered gravely, "Along with Palpatine. Fortunately, Obi-Wan and I were able to take out Dooku."

His conversant sighed, letting out a mixture of emotions, and brushed a strand of reddish-brown hair away from his forehead. He reached up to take her hand in his, brought it briefly to his lips, and then pressed it against her stomach.

Normally he'd have been able to feel the presence of their baby through the Force. But now, he felt nothing. "You're shaking… What's wrong?"

Padmé's dark eyes filled with tears. "Ani, something… something has happened."

"To you?"

"To the baby."

Anakin felt his stomach drop and his heartbeat falter. Padmé swallowed and lightly pushed his hand away from her abdomen.

"I… I lost it," she whispered hoarsely, looking up at him in despair. "I lost our baby, Ani. I'm so sorry." A few drops of saltwater spilled over the rims of her eyes and streamed down her cheeks.

The Jedi Knight tried to swallow the lump that had gathered in his throat, but to no avail. Not caring anymore as to whether people saw them or not, he leaned down to wrap her in his arms once again as her body started to tremble with low sobs.

"I'm so, so sorry," she repeated, over and over.

Anakin drew back but still kept his hands around her waist. "It's not your fault," he told her, looking her in the eyes and trying to keep his own from the burning sensation also. "It'll be all right." He pressed a light kiss against her quivering lips as their bitter tears mingled.

"I'm sorry," she said again, but he cut her off with another kiss.

"We'll get through this," he choked out, his arms encircling her to press her against his chest. "Together. I promise."

* * *

He couldn't breathe.

He didn't know why, but he couldn't. When he tried to, a horrible sound emitted from his lips—a steady, synchronized, mechanical rhythm, as if his respiration were under the control of a machine instead of his lungs.

He couldn't move, either. Each desperate attempt sent him stumbling against the refresher counter and onto the floor, which he hit with a sickening crack… although nothing inside him broke. Once he'd managed to get up, he was still somehow paralyzed.

Gasping frantically for a mere molecule of air, he collapsed onto the tiled floor in a daze. A new horror was unveiled to his eyes as he stared down at his legs. A hard, black material covered every centimeter up to his waist—and even there it continued. He examined his arms and recoiled in terror as he saw more cybernetics.

Those weren't his legs. Or his wrists. Or… _His fingers…_

They couldn't be. Could they?

The low, machine-esque breathing sounded from his chest without him realizing he'd allowed it to take control. Trying to break the unmelodious rhythm, he found himself suffocating once more.

After a few failed attempts at getting to his feet, he managed to stand up, and made his way to the long mirror above the sink. It was there that the nightmare climaxed, for what he saw was something he'd never forget.

A dark mask greeted him, with a smooth top and round sides that stretched just below his chin. A triangular-shaped respirator covered the whole of his mouth, and a thin rectangle with curved edges represented the area where his nose should have been. And his eyes…

His eyes were the worst yet.

Two simple ovals made up the eyepiece, but as he continued to stare he realized the complexity of their engineering. Everything was processed in different shades of red—though he still had a general idea of what each color was—and with each turn of his head the computers inside analyzed every object that came into his focus… including the very image that stood before him.

He felt his body shake in pure fear and hatred of what he had become, and soon a strangled scream was bubbling up from his throat. He choked it out and doubled over as a horrible, sickening cough came out of his respirator. The walls of the refresher began spinning around him as he continued to suffocate inside the prosthetic body that he somehow belonged to.

"Help… Please…," he remembered begging hopelessly, the words coming out in a robotic baritone, before everything became dark.

* * *

Anakin sat up abruptly in his bed, breathing heavily as he waited for the devilish machinery to greet him once more. He looked down and found himself in his regular body, the only limb replacement present being the golden plates that covered his right wrist and fingers. Letting out a loud sigh of relief, he gazed around the room.

To his right laid a sleeping Padmé, who stirred softly, and next to her was the open window where the sun's rays were beginning to seep in through the spaces in-between various hovercrafts of the early-morning Coruscanti traffic. To his left, an alarm clock sat and displayed the time on a light blue hologram: 0545 hours.

Figuring that he might as well get ready for the discussion about the Outer Rim sieges, he got up and walked into the apartment's refresher. As the hot water and scented cleansers poured down his face and body, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to finally relax amongst the rising steam.

It had only been a dream.

* * *

"Adjourned, this meeting is," Master Yoda announced, standing up from his seat in the gathering room and making his signature exit, which contained a speed and pace matching that of a bantha's.

Anakin watched with a stoic expression as the other Jedi around him also stood up and began filing out of the room. He remained glued to his chair and stared blankly into the distance, while Obi-Wan walked over to a large table and extracted the data that had been plugged into it. A holographic map of the Mandalore system collapsed into the storage disc that the Master now held in his palm.

Obi-Wan turned to look at his Apprentice with slight concern. "Are you all right, Anakin?"

"Yes, Master; I'm fine," the young man lied. "It's nice to see that everything is going well. I sense that the end of the Clone Wars is near."

"I wasn't referring to the war," Obi-Wan told him, walking over to sit beside him. "You've been out of focus all day." He reached out through the Force and tried to search Anakin's mind, but found that his shields were abruptly closing, and sighed.

"I told you, I'm all right." Anakin forced a smile, knowing he could never explain to this man what it felt like to lose a child—or have nightmares, for that matter.

_Obi-Wan just wouldn't understand._

"If you say so," the middle-aged man replied. "But I suggest you go back to your quarters and get some rest. Fatigue seems to have gotten the better of you this morning." Noticing that Anakin was about to object, he added, "And _that's_ an order."

"Yes, Master," his conversant gave in, resting his hands on his knees as he pushed himself up.

On the speeder ride back to his and Padmé's apartment, Anakin once again felt his mind drifting as images from a few hours previous flooded his brain. He had dreams all the time, but what he didn't understand was how this one could seem so vivid; so real. That made it all the more unforgettable, and he felt his hands shake as he recalled seeing everything with a scarlet hue.

The sight of his wife leaning against their balcony railing, staring sadly out into the city, knocked his mind back into reality.

This was no time for him to focus on meaningless dreams. Right now, his main concern was to take care of his grieving wife as he'd promised her he would.

He was never one to break a promise.


End file.
